I'm bored

[eunice]

I'm a total creature of habit.  I get up at 5 am and do my email and now I have no email.  So will someone please entertain me?  Thank you.
------------------
--Laurie

[teach1st]

Tech support preson emails and says "I haven't seen a byte all day." So I bit him.

<rimshot>

Take my ISP. Please.

<rimshot>

My ISP's tech support is so elegant, they have an unlisted e-mail address

<rimshot>

Tech support person told me, &quot;If my mother knew what I was doing for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I sell crack.&quot;

<rimshot>

I just FTP'ed into a warez site in the Ukraine and boy is my mouse tired.

<rimshot>

Someone stole my online credit information, but I won't report them. They spend less than my wife.

<rimshot>

(With apologies to Henny Youngman)

[wolfstalks]

Eunice, have faith and start cheecking your email as I have just received email from 2 of my &quot;FQ&quot; accounts !!!!  

There may be light at the end of the tunnel.

Bob

[Deb]

My daughter came up with one last night while watching TeRRa do the backups.  She knows OSCAR is a huge server that happens to be extremely heavy.  As she watched the files fly by to the backup system she comments as follows:

Putting all of those files on there like that is just going to make the server heavier for when you move it.  Wouldn't it be better to just leave it empty so it's not as heavy?

Deb
 - Out of the mouth of babes....

[eunice]

I went back to bed like a sane person and just woke up to 63 emails and a bunch of bad jokes!  

With apologies to Mae West:

&quot;Are you happy to see me or is that a connectively redundant propagating Tunnel Server in your pocket?&quot;

(Thanks for the entertainment)
------------------
--Laurie

[jmarella]

My favorite story about selling a computer:
I had an ad in the paper for a computer and lady in her late sixties showed up to look at. She wanted the computer, but explained that she knew little about them. I decided that her enthusiasm warranted a little extra help, so I told her I would be happy to help her out after the sale.
We got the computer set up and showed her all the basics. She seemed to catch on very well. I pointed out the FirstAid 98 CD that was included in with the PC and told her it would be helpful if anything happened, like a crash, etc.
Several weeks went by and not a word, so I assumed everything was going well. I got a frantic call from her one day explaining that the PC crashed and she couldn't figure out what to do. So I went over and helped her reboot the system and straighten out the problems.
Just before leaving, I picked up the FirstAid98 CD and asked her if she had tried it. She looked at me and said, &quot;I thought that was a (medical) first aid kit. &quot; That made it all worth it :-)
JoAnn

[sheila]

There was a Dilbert strip where Dilbert was suggesting to the point-haired boss that *maybe* he could make his laptop lighter by deleting the files. The boss fell for it, of course.

[JW]

Deb:

My sister is commuter in the Bay area, driving home with her extremely intelligent just turned 5 year-old in the car seat in back - just finished listening to a CD story book of King Midas and the Golden Touch.

The story ends talking about how King Midas realized that there are more important things in life than gold.

The &quot;kid&quot; asks &quot;Mom what do you think is the most important thing in our lives?&quot;. My sister thinks what a wonderful opportunity for a pivotal moment in the kid's life, and says (my paraphrase), &quot;Teddy, I think that love is the most important thing, love of God, love of your family, love of other people.&quot;  

Teddy, the wise five year old - who had previously straightened my out in Maui that we were not actually catching Geckos, but really they were Skinks (and he was correct), and that one morning couldn't catch any because he thought that they were (his words) &quot;nocturnal&quot;! - says, &quot;No, Mum, the most important in our lives is soy!&quot;.

My sister naturally surprised says &quot;Soy!&quot;. &quot;Yes, Mum, soy is a natural and sustainable source of protein that is ecologically sound!&quot; Yikes - he's a scary kid - the type you think will be done university by 13!

...waiting for my site to come back too.

JW.