Model of a Merchant on the Internet

[sheila]

OK, I stole this off of another UBB that I sometimes read. I don't know if any humor belongs in this category, but it seemed to me to fit here best.

=======(stolen material below)===========

I am the modern model of a merchant on the internet,
I peddle goods and services to people I have never met,
My losses economical
Are great, though merely nominal,
For any business model for a merchant on the internet.

My entry pages span the screen with graphics pyrotechnical,
My Java leaves the back and forward buttons non-directional,
Concealed malicious activeX,
Imposing hidden redirects,
Entrap the surfer till his mind is fully ineffectual.

I capture all the big search terms, no matter how irrelevant;
I target Christian mailing lists with ads lewd and irreverant,
With mirrors and affiliates,
Deep-linked to my associates,
In spamming web directories I truly am perserverant.

My minions plague the internet with my promotions numerous,
As Guides to Go, and edit ODP as odeniverous.
And when they go, reluctantly,
Return as oden123,
Or other cognomen equally rude and odoriferous.

If wit were water, all my own would hardly get the gutter wet,
I haven't ever made a good, nor been a useful server yet,
Of matters distributional
I comprehend them not at all,
I am the modern model of a merchant on the internet.