Looking for a good mail list program.

[YFS200]

I am just messing with this on my personal site, but I soon plan to implement this on the business site. Here goes..

I am looking for a good mail list program, or spam-o-matic.
I have a forum set up that lets users enter their email address and check off what list they wish be on. I need a program that can sort this and build email lists depending on what list they selected.

Here is the kicker. The emails that bounce back, need it to remove from the list. Also people that send back a "REMOVE" need to be removed from the list too.

Any ideas. I am open to web based or something that will run on my computer. I have looked around a bit, but nothing that matches the above criteria.

Thanks
Eddie[nbsp][nbsp][nbsp][nbsp]